A Word of Testimony:

From Same-Sex Attraction to Becoming a New Creature in Christ

Interview by Dr. Jay Zinn

Karen, everyone has their own story, uniquely woven by varying circumstances. Would you begin with your story as a child, and when you first became aware of same-sex attraction and any conflicting emotions with that?

I was a tomboy in a neighborhood of boys. I never wanted to be a boy, but I didn’t know how to be a girl. Other girls knew something I didn’t, and it made me feel ashamed and isolated. I didn’t know how to be like them and needed their approval so badly, that I did whatever they wanted of me and lost my identity in the process. My female friends were few, so I hung out mostly with boys. I was like a buddy, not a date, but I fit in and felt accepted. We talked about the girls they liked, which were friends of mine. I also identified with my father as a buddy, too—but not my mother. I saw her as weak and manipulative because she would push my father too far until he exploded, and then she would cry. I made a vow that if women were like that, I wanted no part of it. I wanted to be stronger—in control of my emotions. That’s when I began to reject my identity as a woman.

Were there any circumstances that tipped the scales to yield to your hidden desires?

In early junior and high school years, I never thought of myself as gay. Though looking back, I can see the direction I was heading. It wasn’t until college that a friend told me she was gay and I considered I might be, too. I remember weeping deeply at that moment with a mixture of—“Oh no, I can’t be gay!”—to a sigh of relief thinking, “If I am gay, then everything makes sense now.”

I grew up in church, but never heard the gospel. I heard sermons about being nice, don’t steal, and so on. I thought I was a Christian and knew there were scriptures against homosexuality. Remembering that, when I considered this new revelation, I looked up the scriptures and didn’t like what I found: Leviticus 18:22, “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable,” or Romans 1:18-32 that said my feelings were unnatural.

However, my friend telling me about her homosexuality was scary and exciting at the same time. This could be a place where I might fit in and discover myself. Now that she had been honest with me, we started hanging out, and her gay friends didn’t have to pretend any more. They were fun people and they accepted me, warts and all. I felt camaraderie and acceptance, a place where I belonged. They wanted me; they pursued me; they enjoyed me. So the gay community became my community. Eventually, that woman became my first girlfriend.

Is this a common experience among others who’ve struggled with their sexuality?

I’ve spoken to many women with same-sex attraction and even though everyone’s story is different, they have had similar experiences.

There are arguments used biblically and biologically in favor of homosexuality. Are you familiar with these and did you consider using them to disarm negative public opinion? Did that work for you, or did you still struggle with your religious beliefs?

I believe there can be genetic components in homosexuality. For example, God may create a very sensitive, artistic boy that doesn’t like to be rough and tumble, or involved in sports. Genetically, that is who God made him to be, with creative gifts and talents, and it’s beautiful. But put him in a family with an absent father, or a father who wants an athletic son in sports, and he may feel rejection from the father, creating a distance between them. Add to it society’s clear ideas of what a boy should be, and that sensitive boy might feel rejected by his peers, which creates a deficit in male connection. Throw in an overbearing, excessively attentive mother that fills in the void the father has left, and you might have a boy that begins to identify with mom and the feminine side, instead of dad and the masculine. One can see how those building blocks could lead that boy down a path of trying to receive his God-given need for masculine love and affection through other men. Many of the gay men I know experienced this story in their lives. Their need for masculine love became sexualized, leading them to homosexuality. But no matter how much genetic influence there is, it will never trump God’s plan in the Word and his original design of a complementary male and female. It does, however, mean that the journey away from homosexuality might be that much more challenging.

I used to tell people I was born gay. I knew I never wanted or asked for these desires. I never thought, “Hey, this sounds fun, let’s date girls.” It just seemed like the feelings were always there, so I thought I must have been born that way. I had attractions to boys growing up, but I was drawn more emotionally to women. In normal childhood development, when puberty hits, the opposite sex no longer seems gross anymore. Instead, your switch flips and you become attracted to the mysterious opposite sex. That was not my experience. I stood on the side with boys, and opposite me were the women. I didn’t understand “womanhood” or felt I belonged with women. I understood guys. They were my friends and I hung out with them. Women were my mysterious other. They were the ones I wanted to be accepted and affirmed by.

As I’ve walked out my path of healing, I’ve realized my longings (which eventually manifested in the sexual) were really a God-given need for connection and affirmation from the same sex in healthy ways. My early vows to not be like my mother, and a consequential rejection of the feminine, led me down the path toward lesbian relationships.

At the time I acted on my same-sex desires, it wasn’t as popular back then as it is now to be gay or bisexual. I was in the closet about my feelings. Any information on the subject I found in the public library was limited and the internet didn’t exist. So in the middle of the most fulfilling relationship I had ever had, something was wrong and it was hard to find information to provide me with answers. I secretly tried to find literature on homosexuality to tell me why I lacked peace in my relationship. Today I know it was God pursuing me. I believed in God back then, but I didn’t know Him. The scriptures I found in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, Romans 1:18-32 and 1 Corinthians 6:9 all made me feel terrible. Words like abomination and unnatural—was that me? I didn’t understand because my feelings felt natural to me. I didn’t know what to do with them and what God’s Word has said about it.

I prayed earnestly for God to take these feelings away if they were wrong, but he didn’t. I tried to not be gay, but it didn’t work.

I researched more and found the “gay interpretations” of those condemning scriptures. I liked their interpretation better. They said what I wanted to hear. They claimed that the scriptures were misinterpreted by bigoted, narrow-minded Christians. They said Paul’s letter to the Romans was misread and really meant it was unnatural for a “straight” person to lust after someone of the same sex and, therefore, a sin. But for someone like me; someone born gay by God’s design, it wasn’t “unnatural” and therefore not a sin. They also claimed that Paul’s word for “homosexual” or “homosexual offender” (arsenokoitai) in 1 Corinthians 6:9 is only used here by Paul. The interpretation was not of a loving monogamous gay relationship, but one of slave to master, man to boy—i.e., one of a “power” differential.

In those gay theological interpretations, I thought I found my salvation, because now I could keep my girlfriend, be at peace, and have God, too. But it didn’t last. The truth won out and the reconciliatory nature of Christ broke through my deception and brought me to Him.

What emotional and spiritual battles are there uniquely within same-sex relationships? Are there any cyclical issues?

You can never put anyone in a box on any issue. Everyone is unique, with unique baggage they bring into their sin. But there are definitely some reoccurring problems such as emotional co-dependency/ enmeshment,pornography, idolatry in women, masturbation, and addictions — especially sexual addiction in men. For me, the emotional enmeshment has been the biggest hurdle to overcome. To stop having sex with someone of the same sex wasn’t the end of the story. The physical aspect of my relationships was always a byproduct of the emotional needs and connection. I discovered that those relational needs —to be loved, pursued and affirmed by someone of the same sex—wasn’t an evil to kill. They were God-given needs that, when met in healthy ways, would change my desires and outlook. It would change my core.

For example, a lot of my healing came from the men and women at the church I attend, River’s Edge Church, and especially through the women. They accepted me for who I was, where I was in my journey, and how “rough” I was. They helped me to accept my imperfect self, and let God do the work in my life. I started to learn what it was to be a woman of God, not what the world defined as a “woman,” and I began to change.

Another big battle is isolation and loneliness. Homosexuality in many churches is thought of as the BIG sin. According to some, there seems to be a special place in hell for gay people. So believers struggling with same-sex attraction hide in the pews and are afraid to share their battle for fear of rejection and being ostracized. Reveal that you struggle with alcoholism, and people will rally around you. But share about your attraction to someone of the same sex, and people will vacate your pew. So thousands of gay church members go to church faithfully, but can never share their struggle. They walk and suffer alone. Their shame leads to isolation, and it is never good. God said it isn’t good for man to be alone, but it can doubly affect the journey of a same-sex attracted person. They need connection, they need community, and they need support. If the church doesn’t step up, believe me, the gay community is ready and able to welcome strugglers into their ranks. The gay community and its tight-knit group are very powerful. I know because it was the first place I ever felt welcomed and accepted. Something the church family should be but falls short in being a safe place.

I’ve spoken at churches and conferences where more than half of the attendees said NO ONE in their home churches knew about their issue with homosexuality. I’ve lead support groups where parents of gay children would NEVER share this with their home church for fear of what the parishioners would think of them as parents or their children. Fear can drive many people underground, to suffer alone and that is where Satan rules and reigns. A community where it is safe to be open with my life has been the biggest help in my walk.

When did you first begin to reconsider your same-sex relationships and what eventually led you to leave it behind?

From the very first girlfriend, I never came to a place of peace. At my happiest time with her, peace was elusive. In the late ‘80s to ‘90s, I worked in the animal medical field where homosexuality was much more accepted. I didn’t attend church so I avoided the pangs of conviction from sound doctrine. I also didn’t have a condemning society telling me how terrible I was. I had lots of friends and support in my gayness. But it was God who wooed me back. I now understand that my need for relational fulfillment through a girlfriend was never meant to fill that place in me. God created man and woman to be complementary for a reason and so the “sameness” of my same-sex relationship became the downfall of the relationship. Others would say, “Oh, you just haven’t met the right woman, yet.” But I knew better. My internal, moral compass pointed me to something more. It was Jesus who I craved and needed. So my journey out of lesbianism came through a combination of lacking peace in a same-sex relationship, and a growing awareness that God was real and he had something greater for my life.

Looking back, what choices would you have made differently? If you had the people or resources to help, what would that look like?

First and foremost, I wish I had been able to give a voice to the things I was feeling and my fears. If I had had a trusted friend, teacher, or youth leader that I could have processed my turmoil with, things might have turned out differently. I didn’t have words for what was happening inside me. I was very immature relationally, and I don’t know if I could have done it differently. I wish I would have had someone to push past my defenses and get to know me. I would have wanted someone to pursue me and invest in me. I was starving in the desert and I took anything for relief, even those bitter things that tasted sweet.

I did share my story with my brother early in my college career. But I didn’t share, “I’m struggling with attractions to the same sex, please help me.” Instead I said, “I’m gay, what do you think about that!?!?!?!?!?” In hindsight, his response and the following 10 years were the best I could have ever hoped from him. He said, “Well Karen, I don’t know what to think, but I know the Bible has something to say about it. And I know that I love you and God loves you….“ I don’t remember much about what he said after that. I broke down crying and rested my head in his lap. I had planned on his rejection and potential disgust with me, but when his response was kind and gentle, I released all that pent up emotion.

Through the next 10 years my brother never asked me how it was going, and it frustrated me. I thought he didn’t care or love me, because if he did, he would ask me how was I’m doing. After coming to salvation, I asked him why he never asked me about “it.” And he said, “Well, it would be like me saying, ‘Hey, how’s that sin of yours going?’ and you would have pushed away.” He was right, and though I was mad at him for not “loving me,” he actually listened to the Holy Spirit and loved me the best way he could.

I had many faulty perceptions back then and they ruled my life. What I thought I wanted was not what I needed. My brother listened to God and loved me the way I needed to be loved. If Steve had said, “Hey, you know you need to stop that,” or “Don’t you know that’s a sin?”, I would have done the opposite and accused him of being judgmental. Even though it was true, that I needed to stop, I wasn’t at a place, yet, to surrender to God.

You have been involved in a local ministry called “Clean Heart Ministries,” and a national one called “Exodus International.” Tell us a little about them and what role you have played in them.

Once I was saved in 2000, I attended Clean Heart Ministries, a local ex-gay ministry. Our core scripture was Psalm 51:10. The mission was to walk with, educate, and equip those affected by homosexuality. It included same-sex attraction men and women, parents, friends and family of gay-identified children, married and singles. Anyone in conflict with their faith and their same-sex attractions and behaviors were welcome. I learned much about God, grace, faith, and core developmental issues from Clean Heart. After a year of attending and growing in my faith and knowledge about my journey into homosexuality, I felt that Clean Heart had walked with me as far as it could. As a ministry specific to the sexually and relationally broken, they had been invaluable to my working through my same-sex attraction. But God was calling me to move into the body of Christ at large and continue to mature, not just my sexuality, but also in healthy relationships to others of the same and opposite sex. Homosexuality for me wasn’t an issue of sex, it was an identity issue—i.e. my faulty perceptions of myself in relation to other women and my rejection of what I perceived as feminine; an issue of my non-identity with my mother, and my identity with my father and the masculine. I had many fears and used “control” to keep them at bay. God grew me up in a lot of ways during my early years of coming out of lesbianism.

In 2002, I was asked to lead the women’s group at Clean Heart and I became the Women’s Ministry Coordinator. In that role, I led women’s small groups and taught a 30-week curriculum called Living Waters, by Andy Comisky. I was part of the conference team that brought nationally known speakers in on the topic of homosexuality to the Charlotte area. Clean Heart was a resource to local churches, pastors and parents of gay-identified children through our testimonies, teaching and insight into our own journeys. Revelation 12:11 says “…by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony.” Sadly, Clean Heart no longer exists due to a lack of financial support.

Exodus International is an umbrella ministry that encourages and equips local ministries and provides resources on a national level, including the largest weeklong conference designed for those affected by same-sex attraction and those who love them. The summer conferences are for friends, family, pastors, counselors and the lay body. When I attended my first conference in 2001, I was scared to death. Only a few people knew I was going to their conference in the mountains of North Carolina. Those five days changed my life. I found that I was not alone and that there were reasons why I went down the path of lesbianism. I found out that I was not defective (which I had felt for so long) and there was hope.

There were leaders there that had felt the same way and, yet, walked in freedom for years. Some were married, some weren’t. Second to salvation, Exodus Freedom Conference in 2001 was the best week of my life. My faith grew by leaps and bounds. I made some awesome friends, too, that I still have today. I attended that conference every year for the next four years.

In 2007, I felt God call me to serve Exodus and give back, like those who had served me during my years of attendance. I served on the prayer team and as the Women’s Oasis Coordinator (a social gathering place at the end of each night for women only). It was a safe place to relax and process through the days’ events with other leaders and mature believers. These conferences are more intense than the average Christian conference. For some, it’s the first time they had admitted out loud that they struggled with same-sex attraction. For many, they were highly conflicted and desperate to find hope. Learning about deeply held core issues through main sessions and breakout classes is overwhelming. Oasis was a safe place to come to, after all that intensity.

What advice would you offer to those who are Christians and struggling in this area?

First, God does not hate you. There is a weird divide in the church about this. On one side, there are churches that tout the worn-out mantra, “God hates fags!” and then quote the Levitical scriptures out of context. On the other side, are sincere, but deceived churches that believe being gay is a gift from God, and should be embraced. But I approach 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 as proof that God is not surprised by your humanity and brokenness, and desires so much more for you. Jesus has redeemed people who are dealing with this issue for 2000 years. Verse 10 says “And that is what some of you were (past tense). But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Second, you are not alone. Nor were you made to be. There are thousands of people who deal with sexual and relational brokenness. Unwanted same-sex attraction can feel so isolating. I was sure no one had ever felt the way I did. I thought I was the only one to feel these attractions; it was very shaming.

You must have support to swim against the tide of popular culture. When I came to the point of no longer believing I was born this way, that my same-sex attraction was driven by developmental issues and not genetics, I became a different kind of outcast. My mere existence as one who chose to question my feelings and seek a greater good from God, made me feel like I didn’t fit within the church. You don’t know how many times I’ve told my story to church people, and with all sincerity and a sad look in their eyes, they tell me how sad they are for me, and for my struggle against my lesbianism. Sad because they think the world has told me there was something broken in me that needed to be denied or fixed and it caused me pain. Sad because they believed the conflict was that God made me gay, and I’m denying who He created me to be. Their advice was to end the conflict by embracing my gay indentify and, thus, end the pain. I tried embracing that, as did many others I know, but God’s Word and Truth will always win. No matter how hard I tried, there never was a peace in my sin.

Third, you can’t do this alone. All Jesus did, he did in community. He had the inner three disciples, the 12, and the 70. Relational brokenness requires relational healing and it takes time. Risking connection was the hardest thing I ever did. Satan had convinced me that if people knew about my past, I would be rejected and alone. Letting anyone in to see my hurts and my heart was scary. But because I pushed through the fears and invited my church family into those places, I grew in my walk. As I got into healthy same-sex friendships, the longing and the draw toward the unhealthy yearning for women began to fade. My attractions began to lessen. The first person I told in church about my history was a ministry leader. I dreaded it, fearing potential rejection and condemnation. But what I received instead was love and affirmation. She said, “Karen, I can’t say that I know what it is to struggle with homosexual attractions, but I can say I have my own issues, and that I love you no matter what.” Just the response God knew I needed. That positive response empowered me to tell another person and another in my church. I am now at the point where when God opens a door, I share it with anyone that needs to hear. Let people in, you might just be surprised at how they’ll react and what they are willing to do to walk with you on your journey. Be willing to risk rejection. The rewards can be eternal. But, I say “Be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16b). When you pick who to share your story with, you probably don’t want to go to them and say, “Hey, my name is Karen and I struggle with lesbianism and dependency issues. Will you be my friend?” Pray about whom to share with. You need the voice of safe, mature people to help dispel the lies you have believed about yourself. That will be the beginning of real change.

What advice would you offer to churches about how they can be a safe place for those who want to leave the life of homosexuality and the steps that can be taken to help them?

First and foremost, look at the sin in your own lives and the life of the church. If you turn a blind eye to the young man and woman living together outside of marriage, seated in the second pew, then don’t start throwing the sin bomb out about homosexuality. With all the political hullabaloo and chatter about gay marriage, special protective rights for gays, etc., it’s easy to make it the sin of choice from the pulpit. Treat all sin equal as it all separates us from God. Are you as concerned about the guy cheating on his taxes? SSA strugglers will know if there is a double standard, and you will lose all your ability to speak into their lives.
The opposite of homosexuality isn’t heterosexuality, it’s holiness.

God didn’t call me out of lesbianism to be a raging heterosexual. He called me into a relationship with Him, and through that, I changed. Your job isn’t to make the homosexual a “straight” person in their desires. Straight people go to hell every day. Only the redeemed ones of God go to heaven. Instead, point the homosexual toward Christ, and allow the Holy Spirit to do the work. You just have to show up.

Always speak truth in love. The truth is that homosexual behavior is a sin, just like fornication among heterosexuals is sin. Most likely, those with SSA never asked for the feelings that ultimately led to their behavior. As you walk with people with SSA, it’s the love that will push out the lesser gods and bring change. It’s God’s love that leads everyone to repentance.

Have good, solid boundaries. Many of us who have struggled with homosexuality never learned healthy boundaries and people skills. You, as the mature mentor/church need to be the one to hold solid boundaries.

This is not a short-term journey. I lived many years “relating” in an unhealthy way to others. To think (as I really had hoped) that one year of support group attendance would be all that I needed was shortsighted. I wanted to be healed and I wanted it now. I mean, if God really felt heterosexuality was “better” for me, then he would fix me today, right? Not necessarily! Instead, through my history of lesbianism and the last 12 years, I have grown and matured in my relational skills. My story of unwanted same-sex attractions showed me my need for a Savior and what it means to be a new creation through the power of Christ. If you are going to walk with people with same-sex attraction, be ready to shepherd them for the long haul.

Make sure your leadership believes that the foot of the cross is level in the realm of sin. All sin separates us from God. Homosexuality isn’t a special sin or the worst of all sins. Let me be clear: I believe, from a consequential standpoint, that some sins carry greater costs than others. But 1 Corinthians 6:9 shows a laundry list of sins that will keep you from inheriting the Kingdom of God—homosexuality isn’t the only one. It needs to be preached about from the pulpit in a redemptive way. Yes, homosexual behavior is a sin, but one that is redeemable. It should be talked publically and privately in the same light and weight as other sins, such as pre-marital heterosexual sin, adultery, gluttony, gossip and the other more socially accepted sins.

How has the Lord helped you through your journey?

Through people and himself. First he saved me from myself. It makes me cry to remember who I was before salvation and who I am now. I used to think homosexuality was my only issue. If I could just get a handle on “it,” then my life would be perfect. Instead, I found (as my lesbianism started to wane) other sinful parts of me that came to the surface. I discovered I have control issues. Who knew?! It makes me laugh, but it’s truly how I felt. I believed homosexuality was the worst of all sins.

Second, God in his grace and wisdom used other people in my life to show me I am more than the sum total of my sins. Through his Word I began to learn how sin separated me from him. He brought me books, local ministry, resources, conferences, healthy friends and more. He put this lonely girl into a family; the Family of Christ. He changed my identity. He changed me from the inside out.

What used to define me, now only is a blip on my radar. The unhealthy relating has been replaced by a steady growth toward mature connecting. Have I ever been attracted to a woman since this journey began? Of course, but so have some married men and women been attracted to other heterosexuals besides their spouse. Like them, in their “opposite-sex” attraction, I’m still a fallen woman in a fallen world that might always struggle with my flesh in this area. Everyone is subject to carnal desires and temptation. But God gives us all hope. I no longer feel hopeless like I used to. Scripture says that we are all to deny ourselves and pick up our Cross daily, because each of us has our own sinful burden to bear. Mine just happened to manifest as same-sex attraction. The good news is that Jesus Christ died to give us power over those burdens. It says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

You speak of same-sex attraction and gay identity. Are they synonymous terms, or is there a distinction between the two?

In today’s world, there are lots of discussions about what does it mean to be “gay.” It’s important to clarify terms so we can all be in the same discussion. There is a huge difference between having same-sex attractions and laying claim to a gay identity. For example, there are people who have had attractions, sexual and otherwise, to people of the same sex. They have never acted on them (for faith and other reasons), and quite often, those feelings pass. If you asked them if they were gay because they were attracted to the same sex, they would say no. To have an attraction or feeling is not sinful. How you act upon them is.

There are some people who might have had a sexual or emotional experience with someone of the same sex. Does that make them gay? No. Gay isn’t just what you do with your body, it’s an all encompassing identity. To the gay-identified person who has had same-sex attractions and may or may not act upon them, if you asked them, “Are you gay?,” they would say, “Yes.” The important discussion here is that society would say to the person with same-sex feelings, “If you feel this way, you must be gay.” And they would encourage you to act on your feelings because you feel that way. Feelings, however, can be very deceiving. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?“

Many people, who have same-sex attractions, believe they don’t have a choice. No one should identify themselves by their feelings except by God. As I began this journey “out” in 2000, after getting saved by grace, I moved from a gay identity, to an ex-gay identity and stalled there for a while. With all the best intentions, I stalled in the ex-gay plateau out of fear. I left lesbianism behind, yet hadn’t fully moved on with confidence to the “woman” he had created me to be. I still feared being different from other women, not feeling like I fit in, and not knowing how to maneuver in the world of “female.” It wasn’t until I fully embraced the bigger identity God had for me—Daughter of the King, Child of God—that I was able to move beyond the ex-gay category into a whole member of the Body. So I see myself as a “daughter” and “child” before a loving God, rather than ex-gay.

Which heterosexual Christian, formerly addicted to porn and illicit sex, refers to themselves as an “ex-porn Christian,” or an “ex-fornicating Christian?” This can apply to any former addictions and habits that separated people from God. Does the apostle Peter refer to himself in the Bible as an “ex-denier” in Christ? Or does the apostle Thomas refer to himself as an “ex-doubter” in Christ? See how absurd that sounds? “Ex-“ titles can take the focus off of going toward Christ, and inadvertently create a backward focus toward the past. We will become what we behold the most, so behold Christ the most and the “ex” labels will fade before his radiant love and beauty.

Are there any books you might recommend that have helped you or you know can answer questions emotionally, physically, biblically and spiritually?

Absolutely! I found these books to be very helpful.

For Women:
The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction: A Comprehensive Counseling Resource, Janelle Hallman
Out of Egypt: One Woman’s Journey out of Lesbianism, Jeanette Howard
For Men:
Desires in Conflict: Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity, Joe Dallas
Growth into Manhood: Resuming the Journey, Alan P. Medinger
Healing the Masculine Soul: God’s Restoration of Men to Real Manhood, Gordon Dalbey
For Parents:
Someone I Love Is Gay, How Family and Friends Can Respond, Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
When Homosexuality Hits Home: What to Do when a Loved One says They’re Gay, Joe Dallas
For Those Who Want to Minister to those with Same-Sex Attraction:
God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door: Reaching the Heart of the Gay Men and Women in Your World, Alan Chambers
About Theology:
A Strong Delusion: Confronting the “Gay Christian” Movement, Joe Dallas
For Every Category:
CD and DVD series called Lessons Learned, insight for redeeming the sexual generation Volumes one and two by Sy Rogers. http://syrogers.com/Resources.html
Attend a Love Won Out conference where you will get good, foundational information about the roots of SSA, and how to minister and walk with people coming out of homosexuality. http://exodusinternational.org/love-won-out/
Since homosexuality isn’t about sex, but an identity issue, several books – not specific to the topic – were very helpful to me:
Changes That Heal: How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future, Dr. Henry Cloud (this book changed my life!)
Hiding from Love, How to Change the Withdrawal Patterns that Isolate and Imprison You, Dr. John Townsend
The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God, Brent Curtis and John Eldredge